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Heifer's love matrix
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Are you wanting to express your love this Valentine’s Day, but feeling weird about being cliché or consumeristic? We've got a modest proposal: donate farm animals in honor of your special someone. Hang on–stay with us! Is a Heifer gift unconventional for Valentine’s Day? Yes. Weird, even? Maybe. But 79% of Americans have said they would rather have a charitable gift given in their name than receive something material, so we contend that this is one of those it’s-so-crazy-it-just-might-work occasions! 

So if you’re feeling a little counter-cultural, we’ve plotted our gifts according to what you want to express this Valentine’s Day:

The Birds and the Bees

The gift of honeybees, chicks, ducklings or goslings are all adorable ways to say, "I love you." Give if you're looking for this reaction:

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Definitely Dating

Sheep and rabbits are perfect if you're looking for a cuddle or a kiss!

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Bambi, Walt Disney Animation Studios
 
It’s Complicated 

Confused about an ambiguous romantic entanglement? Giving a llama is a way to say, “I don’t understand what we are.”
 

Computer man
Gentlemen Broncos, 20th Century Fox 

Friends and Family

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all about romantic love! Say “You’re awesome" with a goat, because goats are awesome. Got a friend who’s going through a break up? Give a school of fish to say, “Don’t worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea.”
 

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The Little Mermaid, Walt Disney Animation Studios

Soon-To-Be Exes

Not sure how to break up with someone? Give them a pig or heifer and write in the card, “This reminded me of you.”

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Community, NBC

Valentine's Day Haters

Last but not least, the water buffalo are here for the Valentine’s Day haters. Giving a water buffalo is sure to put a damper on things and let everyone know how serious you are—it says, “This holiday is contrived. You know what isn't? Hunger and poverty.” 

Computer man
True Detective, HBO

Author

Jason Woods & Molly Fincher

Jason Woods and Molly Fincher are the two newest additions to the Global Communications team. With their forces combined, this dynamic duo writes, edits and produces creative, witty and fun articles (like this one) for the magazine and blog.